(A few minutes after semi-naked Doctor fled the TARDIS …)
The door jerked open, and a fully dressed Doctor stalked in as Amy slipped by him with a package.
“Ha!” He jabbed at finger at River. “Holographic clothing! Can’t see a thing! Now, where’s Amy going?”
“Your clothes went for £1,000,000 insured to a fellow named Steven Moffat,” River said, lazily trailing her fingers around a button on the console.
“Really? I heard he was a nice bloke. At any rate, you and Amy have had enough with your … shenanigans! I’m dressed, I look very cool, and now we are going off to some place that involves lots of hats and a the strictest gun restriction in the universe!” The Doctor shot a salute up to Rory. “Rorianicus!”
“Doctor,” Rory said, and coughed.
“Umm … Have you ever heard of the Emperor’s New Clothes?”
“Disney or fairy tale?”
“That’s the Emperor’s New Groove, sweetie.”
“Fairy tale,” Rory continued, his eyes firmly looking above the Doctor’s neck. “You know, where he has no clothes.”
“I’m wearing clothes!” The Doctor gestured to himself. “Holographic clothes, see …” He glanced down and his jaw dropped. Then he spun back to the console. “River!”
“Yes, my love?”
“Did you touch that red button?”
River leaned against the console, hands behind her back. “What button?”
He stalked over to her. “The red button that specifically disables the holographic system!”
River just grinned.
“River … Am. I. naked?”
Her eyes did one long sweep down his thin form, tongue darting out to lick her lips with anticipation. “Rory, you might want to go spend a few hours in the gaming room.”
“I think I’ll need a few hours with a psychiatrist, but who’d ever believe me? Carry on!” Rory disappeared back into the depths of the TARDIS as the Doctor sputtered.
“How naked am I?”
“Oh, naked enough.” River grabbed his arms, spun him and pressed him into the console. “Here, my love, I’ll prove it to you.”
The proceeds from the Doctor’s clothes wound up going to charity.
Steven Moffat celebrated his 50th birthday party with Amy. They wore fezzes as they decided to conquer the London Eye for fun. Sherlock was greatly disappointed not to be invited.
Rory got a new high score in Uncharted 3 and decided he had enough time left to unlock the rest of Arkham City.
The Doctor and River … well … let’s just say the Doctor stopped complaining about being naked. Very quickly. And the holographic clothing system never worked quite right again.
I APPROVE OF THIS. CAN WE JUST ALL AGREE THAT THIS IS NOW CANON?